“GUT-SURFIN’ ATOP MY COLONOSCOPE”: THE MEMOIRS OF A SCATOLOGIST

‘Roses are red, violets are blue – placentas are both, let us have a stew!’ Impaled is in truth a loathsome and inexcusable crime against all things decent and moral. That is part of the reason why they are so friggin’ great. Here is an interview with freshman Dr. Jason Kocol, MD., on the subject of their latest stomach-turning lung-flayer entitled Death After Life. Please resume to consume – and do help yourself to a handful of those cinnamon-flavoured giblets (sponsored by Raul’s mom) or some mucus’n’bile popsicles.

# What is so damn attractive about that metal/medical-fusion thing, dude?

“Well, we are really doctors after all, so it just seems natural to make music about our everyday lives at the hospital. That’s pretty much all I can say about that.”

# To what extent does Death After Life introduce something new to the established Impaled sound?

“There’s a lot more beat-boxing on this one compared to the previous releases [laughs]. Nah, seriously, we just went for a lot more organic sound, and then we also used a lot of different instruments, like for example a real violin, viola and cello on certain songs. But overall, I think, the record sounds a lot more organic than most death metal records. It’s not that flat and compressed.”

# Please give me a spoken autopsy of that Jason character and his inf--- Oh, wait a minute. That question was in fact meant for one of the other Impaled members, but let me ask you directly then: Have you brought any new musical impulses to the band?

“Well, I wrote one song that ended up on the album, and it’s one and two out of the interlude tracks where we have these clips where we’re actually talking about operating on people. I did write a bunch of other material for this album, but since we settled on certain other songs the ones that I wrote was cut out. As far as influences go, I helped with some of the harmonies and things like that, but mainly I’ve tried to continue with what the band was doing and adapt to their sound and at the same time write stuff in the way that I would write it.”

# How was it to have that Mr. Bungle maniac Trey Spruant produce the album, and what is your evaluation of the end result if you compare it to Mondo Medicale?

“I think the record sounds a lot larger. I actually like the sound of Mondo Medicale a lot, and I was hoping that we would at least have something that sounded like that or better if possible. And Trey was perfect because he was really excited about the music. His skills as a producer are just totally insane, and he’s a perfectionist so it really worked out well.”

# I understand that Death After Life is in fact a concept album?

“Yes, it’s a concept album of four deranged doctors, namely us, who are doing experiments on resurrecting  the dead, and we come to discover that… Well, we really don’t know how to do that. We just fail miserably [laughs]. That happens somewhere in the middle, towards the end of the album, and then we decide to make a suicide pact because we’re just total failures at this experiment. But there’s a little twist at the end. If you listen to the record you’ll figure it out.”

# Are you way past that faecal attraction from the early days of gore?

“We’re way past singing about it. As far as the attraction goes, it was out first love so we will always have a soft spot in our hearts for it [laughs].”

# What is your answer to all these hair-splitting assholes who spend their time clamouring about how much Impaled is a rip-off of the mighty Carcass when they could instead just crank up the volume on one of your albums and thrash their living room or sever a vital body part?

“I understand why people say that because there are certain similarities, but I think it’s mainly because of the content of the lyrics being medical-themed and so on, and you can say that some of the music sounds like Carcass as well. So I can agree with it to a certain extent; especially as far as our early material is concerned. But I think the latest two albums, Mondo Medicale and this one, sound a lot different than Carcass, and especially since I know where some of the influences in some of the songs came from, and it comes from all across the map in metal music, from a lot different bands and also from a lot of our own ideas. It’s not all based on what Carcass have done, and I think it may be a bit too easy to say that.”

# What were you dabbling in before you joined Impaled?

“Well, I’ve been involved in too many musical projects to mention, and there has not been one particular musical style. I’ve been in jazz bands, in rock bands, and I’ve played tango music. So what it has meant something really special for me to join one of my favourite death metal bands. And that’s true. I was going to Impaled shows back when Leon del Muerte was in the band because he’s a friend of mine. Joining the band years later after seeing a bunch of shows has really meant a lot, and they’re really good guys to work with. I’ve enjoyed being in the band so far and will continue to do so.”

# What do you expect a person from the audience to think and feel when Impaled have churned out that final gore-drenched profanity from the stage?

“We hope that they feel completely disgusted and ashamed for witnessing such a horrible act [laughs]. In all sincerity we really hope that they all enjoyed it, and that they not only enjoyed the music but also the stage show we put on. Practically, it’s pretty over the top sometimes, and I just hope that people are able to enjoy it.”

# What stage antics are mandatory to an Impaled live show, and will the Death After Life tour introduce some new visual features?

“What always seems to happen for some reason is that we come up with this concoction, which was developed by Sean and which is a combination of the SARS virus, the AIDS virus and the West Nile virus, and what we don’t understand is that during every show we accidentally end up spraying it on everyone. It’s funny! It always happens, but really… It is an accident. So that’s one thing you can always expect. As far as anything new for this album is concerned, it’s hard to say at this point. I’m sure we’ll come up with something, though. We’re planning a tour right now, so we’re going to think about if we’re going to do something different.”

# Why is Impaled a much better band than Exhumed?

“Why we are much better?! [laughs]. Eh. Well. Are we? [laughs again]. That’s a really good question.”

# Quite a few people like to compare the two bands to each other…

“Right. At one point it was very easy to see why there are similarities in that we were actually sharing a member when Ross Sewage, and Leon del Muerte actually, were members of both Impaled and Exhumed. Again, I would say that if you listen to the music you will find that there is a lot of difference between the two. There are still some of the same themes, but I would say that there are definitely differences musically. But, you know, both bands come from the same area or from neighbouring cities at least.”

# Let’s talk a little bit about the Impaled website. Is the following quote from Raul’s mom authentic: ‘Yes, Impaled is very good. Now finish the laundry’?

“Oh, I’m sure it is. She’s always asking him to do his laundry. Once I saw that: ‘Ah yeah, that’s got to be Raul’s mom.’ [laughs].”

# All right, then I have another question for you: What the hell is up with the ‘Hard Assed Nintendo Remix’ of the track “Dead Inside”?

“Well, there’s a tablature program out there where you just enter in the notes, and we thought that maybe people wanted to learn how to play our songs. Sean had tabbed out “Dead Inside”, and when you listen to it backwards it just ends up like that on the midi-file. We liked the way it ended up sounding and we decided to put it on the website. It’s pretty neat to listen to that piece of music recreated merely by a computer.”

# And where can I buy a hint book to the Impaled video game?

“[long pause] Is there one?! Well, actually, I think we’re going to release a 130-page hint book sometime in the fall, so you might be able to pick that one up [laughs]. Because the game is so complicated and there are so many levels. It needs about 130 pages to be solved.”

# Was it a fan who created it?

“Yeah, that’s exactly right. It was a fan who made it, and I believe he made it as a final project, probably for some computer/science or computing course that he had to take. But, you know, while we really love the game, we feel bad if he failed the project because of the content [laughs]. I think it looks great, but I don’t know what a professor would think if he saw something based on us [laughs again]. That’s bad news already.”

# What is the deal with that secret side project Ghoul?

“Hmm, what do you mean ‘side project’? Ghouls live in Creepsylvania; they are actual people! That’s about all I can say about that…”

# Mum’s the word! On a slightly different note, there has been some talk about Sean McGrath teaming up with former Sacrilege B.C. guitarist Sean Smithson and former Machine Head (etc.) drummer Chris Kontos in an as of yet unnamed constellation. Any news on that and the musical direction of the outfit?

“Yes, I believe they’re moving in a direction that is no longer involving Sean McGrath [laughs]. That’s actually true as of recently. I don’t really know what they’re doing. Well, I did know a little bit about it when he was still playing with them, but I don’t think that’s the case any longer. I’m sure they’re going to move on and figure out something.

# Is it a conscious move for Impaled to have that tongue-in-cheek approach to all that surrounds the music, or is it rather the case that you would love to indulge in socio-political matters, for instance, but simply cannot because the band is virtually a bunch of sick and perverted lunatics?

“I think it’s purely calculated. We all do have a very odd sense of humour that’s simply going to come out in the music – and especially in the lyrics. It’s mainly in the lyrics that we’re a little bit funny, and that’s definitely something that takes some thought. But yeah, it does help that we all have this sort of tongue-in-cheek approach. I mean, come see us live and you’ll know what I mean. It’s pretty over the top.”

# Speaking of which, what is the deal on the live front in the nearest future?

“Well, for the next couple of months we’ll be touring the United States , for sure. We really, really hope that we’ll have a European tour, which will be our first ever, and it’s looking very likely. We have to start talking with some bookers and promoters over there. That’s definitely something we want to do; no question. The United States are fine as far as touring goes, and we have some cool fans here, but we’ve never been to Europe and really want to go. Hopefully, it will happen this year. That’s the plan, at least.”

You all heard him. Now go get infected!

Conducted and written by Misereion.